The word feminism can sometimes lead to negative connotations in the minds of some. I am here today to tell you what my personal views of feminism are. To me, being a feminist means that I am for everyone's issues, and I am not going to live my life waiting for change to come on its own. I am here to stand up for what I believe in, because the America I desire to live in is not one that I want to see when I am old, but one that I want to see now. It is not one that I only want my kids to grow up in, but I want to grow up in it too.
I think it is very obvious, that our country is in a very controversial period. People are finding fault in every little thing, in order to make others feel like they are constantly wrongdoing. Although I don't think that some things are truly an issue, I believe that there are a lot of topics that need to be discussed.
Society has created this box of normality that they expect us all to live in. The main problem with this box is that it is not welcoming to many, yet everyone fears what is on the outside. People are so afraid to have empathy for others; they are so afraid of being okay with differences. People who are brave enough to acknowledge they are different, tend to be the ones who society fear most.
A big issue that I am aware of and personally struggle with is self image. It was not too long ago when I was in elementary school myself. I remember defining your self worth based on if you were "smart enough" or "cool enough", when really we should not care about these things. Instead, we should desire to be the one who is happy for others, the one who gets along well with everyone, the one who is generous, the one who does the right thing. We should all desire to be the nice kid. At such a young age, people are already deciding if they are good enough. I am good enough. You are good enough. We cannot continue to degrade our self value based off of some social standards that someone just made up one day.
On the topic of self image, I think it is time we talk about our bodies. At one point in time social standards decided that for women, being thin was beautiful, but being too thin was sickening; being tall was flattering, but being too tall was awkward; and being too pale or too dark decided on how the world would look at you. Bodies were not meant to look the same. Along with that, having a different body type does not make you ugly, but makes you unique in a beautiful way. One thing that I believe is not talked about is self image in both genders. When the topic of being uncomfortable with yourself comes up, most people associate it with women just because we are more open to that conversation. But men are just as self conscious as women, but the topic of insecurities is not as accepted throughout the male gender as it is for women. It is time for this to change. Now, I am not saying that men need to start tearing themselves down and point out everything they feel is a "flaw", but it should be okay for a man to acknowledge something they want to change or maybe don't love, without being judged for it. Men can be emotionally vulnerable; they are just as human as females. There is no wrong way to have a body.
We should not judge others on their characteristics that make them who they are just because it is different from what you are familiar with.
I've noticed recently that body shaming for females around my age has really picked up, especially in the world of social media. Justin Bieber posted a picture completely naked turned around facing a mountain, which received comments such as "Ooh he's so cute" or "Justin, turn around!". While I personally am not bothered by that, I was bothered by the fact that I scroll down 2 pictures to see a picture that Demi Lovato posted in an outfit that showed some skin, yet instead of receiving comments like "Beautiful Demi" or "Love that look" people commented "Slut" and "It is a shame to think that she's okay with posting that". Whether a woman feels empowered with nudity or modesty, it should be her choice. It is her right to decide what she wants to do with her body, whatever makes her feel beautiful.
Recently, a lot of stories have been released about women, men, and transgenders coming out about stories of them being victims of sexual assault. In return, a few people responded with it by saying "that outfit he/she had on was asking for it" or even "they brought it on themselves". I never expected this topic to be something that had more than one side. I never imagined someone to honestly believe that someone would have the intentions of being victimized. By definition, "rape" cannot be asked for.
I think that it is really sad that I, as a female, am scared a lot of the time by men. I always grip my pepper spray when I walk to my car alone, I get tense when I am by self and see an older man, or any time I am by myself in public. I never thought about being a victim of this kind of situation until some of my close friends were. I shouldn't have to be afraid of a person. I should be able to walk to my car without continuously glancing side to side to make sure no one is close. Another assumption made about feminists, is that we all "hate men" and that is the farthest thing from being true. I have grown up with great male influences in my life and I respect a lot of men in the world, but a lot of us women have had their trust in men stripped from us due to certain events. As much as I hate that, it's true. I feel like every time I talk about anything close to this topic the scenarios end with the statement "You never know". A lot of the sexual assault stories I have read always begin with someone who you would "never expect". These experiences not only leave people with a loss of trust, but your dignity is taken away from you. And no one would ever "ask for that".
Last semester, I took fundamentals of Public Speaking. One of our five speech assignments was an informative speech. I chose to highlight the topic of Planned Parenthood. Out of curiosity I asked a few people "What is Planned Parenthood?" In response, I received the answers of "I'm not sure" or "That abortion center place". After this occurrence, I became aware that a large portion of American Society believe that "Pro-Choice" Advocates are only advocating for legalized abortion. Also contrary to beliefs, Planned Parenthood Centers cannot provide abortions, but instead they give birth control, condoms, etc. I describe myself as someone who is "Pro-Choice" because I don't believe that abortion is necessarily a good thing, but I believe that a woman should be able to do it because of her rights and because it is her body. Being "Pro-Choice" does not only include the topic of abortion, but the topic of reproductive rights as a whole. By the way, as of recent, the "Pro-Choice" community has also extended out to male reproductive rights, on the topics of vasectomies, etc. I am not saying any of this to persuade you to choose a side or make it seem as though I feel like "Pro-Life" is wrong, I just want to let people know unlike what some tend to believe, "Pro-Choice" does not mean we love abortions. We just feel as though women should be able to exercise their rights to any extent, when it comes to their own bodies.
In conclusion, I want to share with you the lessons that feminism has shared with me:
- My feelings as a female are valid.
- I am allowed to enforce my boundaries.
- I AM ENOUGH.
- I don't need anyone else's approval, other than my own.
- I am capable of doing amazing things.
- Loving others makes you beautiful.
- Wanting equal rights does not mean desiring to be treated like a man.
- I should unapologetically be myself.
- Stepping outside of society's box is encouraged.
- Feminism is for everyone.
Women today are: mothers, holding positions in office, running businesses and corporations, being ordained as priests, fighting for our country, and doing the unimaginable. We are taking the world on with full force, and nothing will get in our way. The future is female and that is why I am a feminist.
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